Shit Happens (Just for Fun)

Catholicism: If shit happens, see a priest.

Calvinist: It is God's sovereign will as to when and if shit happens.

Methodist: Abstain from tobacco, alcohol and shit.

Episcopalian: Sometimes shit happens, and that's okay, as long as it's served with a good wine.

Lutheran: We don't know when or if shit happens.

Fundamentalism: When shit happens, and it will, ask Jesus into your heart or burn in hell.

Seventh Day Adventism: Shit happens, just not on the Sabbath.

Quakerism: Shit happens silently.

Pentecostalism: Praise God for all this shit!

Arminian: Shit only happens because you let it happen.

Amish: We don't worry about shit, but if it happens, we forgive it.

Evangelicalism: Ask Jesus to save you from all this shit.

Eastern Orthodoxy: Shit has always happened, we've always known about this shit, and though it may or may not happen elsewhere, we know shit happens here.

Unitarian Universalism: Shit's all good.

Baptist: Shit happens, but you still aren't allowed to dance.

Non-denominationalism: We're just as confused about this shit as you are.

Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock, knock, shit happens.

Mormonism: We alone know about the true shit.

-Jon